Its a long weekend! Although not like it makes a difference to me since I'm on semi-vacation now anyway. ;) Yesterday I tutored Korean guy again, although its not really tutoring since we just sit around and talk for an hour. All I do is help him find words or ways to say things when he has difficulty expressing himself. I enjoy talking with him about korean culture and finding out whether all those things they show in korean dramas are actually true. ;)
Anyway, I've decided to put all my babysitting and tutoring money this summer in a jar, to save up for NYC trip in the fall. So far I already have $85, which is 1/3 of my plane ticket and I can stay with my friend Sunitha in Jersey City so I won't need accommodation. I will need extra money to SHOP till I drop though. ;) *shivers with anticipation*
Johanna and I talked for a couple of hours last night exchanging our life stories and our crazy dreams about the future. Our families and background could not be more different. Her childhood dreams include being an actress and Miss Oklahoma. ;) I almost fell off the couch laughing when she told me she always imagined herself as Anne in Anne of Green Gables. That is sooo her, bright red hair and all! I told her my new fantasy is going to Africa and being an educator for UNICEF. I don't actually think it will happen, but I'm dreaming about it anyway.
Dear friend Charlotte (who is getting married in less than a month!) and I talked the other day about kids, and she was saying why have babies when there are already too many people on this earth and you can adopt? Thats a good point and definitely something to look into in the future, especially since another friend who had worked in an adoption agency told me a lot of the older kids (i.e. age 3 and above) have trouble finding homes. I am making it my new personal goal to put all my stupid fears aside and reach out to love people who are unloved.
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4 comments:
There is this indescribable bond with one's own child which one may find it hard to have with someone else's child. Afterall, you do not carry this child for 40 weeks during which time the bond was forged.
If one can really treat another person's child as one's own, then adoption is a good idea. Else, to render monetary help may be a better idea..because taking care/nurturing a child is a lifelong commitment. One must make sure one can make such emotional commitment on someone who has no blood relations at all.
Sometimes kids can drive you nuts..and the only thing short of making you strangling him/her is because of the blood ties.
I know I am/will not not so noble..that's why I choose to have my own child. :)
I agree that its a serious commitment but then God intended for us to love others as ourselves, no? If God calls then I'm sure he will provide financially, emotionally, time-wise... everything.
And anyway, don't be so sure that you won't change your mind! After all, didn't you say that you didn't even love kids that much before Ian? ;)
I fully agree (God intended for us to love others as ourselves) but I personally feel (not that it matters I know) to love another child may not necessarily mean to adopt? There are other ways to love another child? Just like how people always say to love your child means to breastfeed and you do not, it means you don't love your child. =(
I'm not "challenging" your views though.. as a mother, I'm just sharing with you why people may choose to have their own child instead of adopting (since you were wondering).
Not many people are able to love another person's child like their own. Also, in our society (Asian), to adopt seems to indicate that you have some fertility issue. There is a social stigma there. There's why if one can conceive, one would usually not adopt.
I have a fren who had a son and then decided he may wanna adopt a child next. Cuz he wanted a girl next and to adopt is the sure way of having a girl (since one can't determine the gender of your own child). I'm not exactly sure if the motive behind such an adoption is good? Oh well, but I suppose if he treats her like his own, it doesn't matter?
I love Ian this much precisely because he is my own flesh and blood.. *Chuckle* I tell you there are days when he drives both of us nuts but we're especially tolerant cuz of the kinship.
Errm…maybe Angelina Jolie can do it (treat her adopted children the same as her own children) but I doubt I can love another child this much compared to my own. Come to think of it, she's really great to be able to do this! ;p
Oopss..superr long comment. Promise won't post such long comment again. *blush*
I appreciate hearing your opinion. Its always interesting for me to hear different viewpoints. ;) I don't have problems with people having or adopting children, if they can care for them well. Certainly I agree that adopting is not for everyone, but people should at least be open to the idea of it and not be judgmental! I am very frustrated by the extremely low tolerance that Singapore has for people who are even slightly different.
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