To be or not to be?

http://singaporedissident.blogspot.com/

Although I don't agree with everything he says, I am quite an avid reader of Gopalan Nair's blog. In many ways, it reminds me of why I left Singapore.

Troy often wonders why I don't like Singapore. I told him it's too long and complicated of a story. It is not the usual tale of the immigrant leaving some poverty-stricken third world country. In fact, the Singapore gahmen is far richer than the US government. And I think the unemployment rate is a fair bit lower.

BUT, I could never shake the feeling that the gahmen doesn't give a sh*t about me. At all. It only wants me NOW because I am a young, healthy, well-educated person who has quite good ability to contribute to the economy. If you are old or in poor health or unemployed or have special needs or for some other reason "don't belong" (e.g. homosexual), the gahmen pretty much can't wait to get rid of you, even if you are a citizen. THEY DON'T FREAKING CARE.

My first day of school at my alma mater Victoria Junior College, the principal said, You guys are the cream of the crop. I want you to get as many As as you can at the A levels, for the glory of our wonderful school. (In other words, I don't give a sh*t about you or your aspirations or your personal growth, just make sure you get all As so that we can still be Top 5 JC.) -- does that totally exemplify the gahmen's attitude or what! I still look back at VJC days as the most traumatic 2 years of my life.

Some day I am going to be old. Some day I may be unemployed or have medical needs. Some day I may have children with special needs. (A family I know emigrated to Australia to get special needs services for their son.) Even if my kids didn't have special needs.. if they are anything less than "very smart", they are pretty much screwed. I DO NOT feel that I can count on the gahmen to come to my assistance if needed. They will only do what is the best for them, end of story. I am just a little cookie in a cookie-cutter land. If I am somehow non-satisfactory, they will crush me, destroy me, and import another cookie to replace me.

Yup, so that's reason number 1. I have a lot more.. I am writing all of this down because it helps me sort out my thoughts. I don't know if anyone who reads this will understand the way I feel. I often feel very misunderstood, like the wedding invitations hoohah. Maybe I just don't think like other Singaporeans, which is why I never belonged in Singapore. Who knows.